Through my Eyes

I wanted to update everybody on my plans for the future and I thought that rather than re-explain what I have already written down, I thought that I would share a letter that I have written to share with my friends and family about my upcoming plans:  Hello Family and Friends,   My journey in Africa started in the summer of 2012 with my family when we went on a short-term missions trip with a team from our church to South Africa. It was there  where we first got introduced to the calling of Hands at Work. In 2013, I had a second opportunity to return to Africa with Hands at Work with a team from my school and I fell even more in love with the people and the  culture. It was at that point that I decided I wanted to commit to Hands at Work longer. In August 2014 I returned with my family, this time to Zambia. And when they went home, I stayed on, serving over the next year mostly in communications (writing reports and sharing stories from those living in the co...

Those that are closest to me know what I'm about to share but for those that don't and a reading this for the first time, then welcome to my blog. I apologize in advance for my ramblings and musings. I believe in open vulnerability and sharing your story so although I won't share everything that my mind and heart have been wrestling with, I will share a piece of my heart with y'all. I warn you that this is a long post but I hope and pray that you take the time to read and enter into my journey. Let me start by saying that the journey back to South Africa was not exactly the smoothest process. When I landed in Heathrow, London after my first 10-hour flight from Vancouver, I was tired and slight cranky (after one would be after getting little sleep). It was then, that I was informed that my connecting flight to Johannesburg, South Africa had been delayed to the following morning. Thankfully the airline put each passenger up in a nice hotel with dinner and breakfast v...

"The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor.. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the  Lord's favour and the day of vengeance of our God to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve In Zion - to bestow on them a crown of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair." Isaiah 61: 1-3 This is my prayer for the most vulnerable around the world. God is reviving the world and will continue to; bringing hope to the lost and the broken. I am thankful for the blessing of living in Canada, but I know that I am not simply to sit silently while the most vulnerable live being oppressed and broken down! My calling is bigger then that!

These last few weeks, I've been thinking about my mistakes and my past.  I've done and said things that I'm not proud of.  I've been feeling a lot of shame and guilt over that. I think somehow I thought that coming back from Africa, I would be perfect. I would have everything figured out and be good to go. However…thats not the case. I came home from Africa completely transformed and a new person but that doesn't make me perfect. I still make mistakes and I still have to kneel before the Father and ask for His forgiveness and thats a hard thing to admit. God never said that He would make me perfect coming back from Africa..what He said is that I was transformed and love by Him Throughout this whole transition, the main thing that God has been revealing to me more and more is that I am His. I am adopted into the family of God and nothing can separate me from the love of God. How amazing and freeing that is? Romans 8:31-39 says,  31  What, then, shall we s...

I've been back from Africa for just over 7 weeks and I still am unsure of what to feel. In one way it feels like I was just there and in other ways Africa feels like such a long time ago - even though it wasn't. Since returning, it's been extremely challenging. I've struggled with a lot of guilt over spending money and how we live in Canada. This has consumed me. It's extremely challenging finding the balance between living in our western culture and living in a way that is honouring to our Father and the children in Africa, but hey I asked God to continue challenging me right? I've asked God to continue to break my heart for the things in Africa, but also for what is happening here in Canada. Returning home, I've found it difficult because my heart would love to still be in Africa and I hope to return in the future yet God has been challenging me to trust in Him. Trust that He has placed me in this season of my life for a reason. Trust that He knows exactly...

It feels surreal to be home. I feel like I am a visitor in the place that I grew up in. I feel as though I am only in town for a few weeks and then will be heading home but that is not the case. I miss Africa so much already that it physically hurts. I miss the people, the culture, the natural beauty, the smell, the dust and the way that everything that we do is community based. I know that its only been 3 days and that it will only get more challenging but my heart aches. Of course I am excited to see my family and to get to know them again, but I can't hide the fact that it is challenging. Despite that,  I have chosen to trust God in the tough seasons. I have made the conscience choice to follow God and surrender my worries and expectations to Him even though it is one of the most difficult things that I have ever had to do. I've surrendered my expectations of what life will look like in Canada and I've surrendered my expectations of people because if I don't it will ...

After 13 months of serving in Africa, I will be returning home to Canada. It will be a huge time of transition for me as I adjust to living back in Canada and as I start attending university to complete my social services diploma. As I contemplate what going home looks like and my feelings about that, I wrote in my journal my thoughts, my tears, my prayers, my joys, and my laughs from this past season of my life. I wanted to share an excerpt of my thoughts as I begin this next season!  As I begin to think about going home and as I start packing up my life I don't think the fact that I am leaving has hit me yet. Even though I had my big goodbye this morning, I don't think its hit me that in 4 days I will be on my way to Johannesburg - leaving the place that has been home for the last year - and then on to Zambia. I don't think its hit me that in 4 weeks time I will be waking up in my room back in Canada, thousands of kilometr...